A parent’s guide to starting the conversation about political violence, racism, pandemics, and other difficult topics. — I’m a board-certified child and family psychologist and parent of two. Here’s some information for parents on how to open the conversation about distressing news. I’ll give you a reading list for other important perspectives on this topic at the end. I want to acknowledge that like all parenting advice…

First, ask permission. — People like to be in control of their lives, and most don’t actually want advice unless they specifically ask for it. A series of studies found that people that give advice to others are more likely to be interested in seeking power and having more control over others. When people…

The father of humanistic psychotherapy was appalled by the word “reflections” — As a training therapist, there was a magical reverence for Carl Rogers- the father of humanistic psychotherapy. He is credited for having defined what are now taken-for-granted ingredients in good therapy, like alliance and unconditional positive regard. His dedication to empathy and conflict resolution was so expansive that Rogers was…

Well-trained therapists fail even while doing all the “right” things — When the doors close in the therapy room only the patient and therapist are privy to what’s happening inside. There are a few exceptions where this black box is opened: when a therapist is training, doing court-mandated work, or conducting research. That’s where I come in — my specialty is…

Don’t know what to say next? Just reflect. — Many of us feel pressure to be interesting, funny, intelligent in conversation. You feel like you must have shared knowledge or interests to carry on a conversation or that you need to know the right thing to say at the right time. Small talk is avoided at all costs. Maybe…